The Church Of Dim Sum

Tastes So Good

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About Us

Dim Sum has been around forever as a food, but it is relatively new as a world religion. It started when we noticed how people converted to Dim Sum like a man dying of thirst who comes across an oasis with a well of cool clear water. Initially they were cautious about it, but after they tried it, they could not get enough of it.

Before long they were cashing in their life savings and selling their first born in order to get more of those tasty treats. It was amazing the praises they would sing of those shrimp dumplings or the deep fried squid. Without fail, they would be waiting outside the restaurant at 10am for it to open, to get their next fix.

Then someone said "Hey, this is so like a religion. We could start a cult if we had enough bamboo steamers. We might need some teapots and cups and a large vat of chilli sauce too." Thus, a new world religion was born.

Dim Sum is one of the fastest growing world religions, with temples in almost every corner of the globe. Every day millions of people pay homage to delicious food while they yam cha (飲茶, or drink tea).

Our church operates independent of any Chinese restaurant. Although certain followers of our faith may have their favorites, there is no implied relationship or endorsement. Perhaps at a later time on this website we may include some reviews of restaurants, but we remain separate. This is important for our tax-exempt status, the restaurants are a business, where as we are a non-profit group. Also, as the quality of restaurants change over time, we are not restricted from moving around like a herd of buffalo, looking for the next great waterhole.

We don't really have any scriptures in our faith. The closest thing to holy scriptures would be Dim Sum menus. We read from them at the start of services, but when you get good you can order without, or if they have trolleys you can just point to what you like.


Dim Sum menus

A huge part of the faith involves outreach and sharing the faith to others. It is quite common for followers to invite friends out for Dim Sum. Their friends then experience a revelation and convert to the one true faith and the cycle continues. If you would like to support our effort, please check out our fund raising section.

Is the Church of Dim Sum right for you?



 
Comments (5)
1 Thursday, 15 May 2008 11:59
Haiku
Repent Haiku

Repent, Time is Nigh
Not Really Sure what Nigh Is.
Guess I'll order Pizza
2 Thursday, 15 May 2008 12:25
Brother Duncan

 


I think you mean order more Ha Gow... I don't want to start some kind of jihad against pizza.

3 Tuesday, 20 May 2008 10:26
Associated Food Press

 


5/20/2008 - PIZZA SPARKS JIHAD IN CHINATOWN

 

Wong, like many followers of Dim Sum feel strongly about the presence of fast food in Chinatown. The effects of second hand obesity is cited as one of the many complaints. Another is traditions.

"We are fighting a holy war, I once took out a KFC with an exploding ha gow," he calmly states.

Young men like Wong are common in Chinatown. Being a jihadist is regarded as an adventure that many of the youths here are reluctant to miss. They are armed with Chinese-made dumplings which are easily available. Almost every household has more than one pair of chopsticks.

What is wrong with these people ?

4 Monday, 26 May 2008 10:02
guilt
I always feel like Im not good enough for Dim Sum...I ALWAYS screw up. I feel called to share Ha Gow with my friends but I can never bring it up or order more when I have to. It really sucks. I feel like a failure all the time.

I really feel like giving up, I don't think the waiters are too fond of me. I just feel so guilty. I feel like I betray them, and I bet they have ALOT of people betraying them and that makes me so sad...but i can't seem to change.

Now I feel guilty for feeling guilty. Help!
5 Wednesday, 04 June 2008 15:31
Singing waitress
Sad but I thought she was a hard working waitress.She would spend hours going over her menus, warming up and then she would sing them over and over until we got it right.I found her to be a hard working waitress and there was no hint of anything wrong with her life. She wanted to be one of the holy trolley waitresses and then she faded away last year. Everyone liked her, all the customers.

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